Chasing Metrics Won’t Work. Building Community Will.

Surviving Social Media: How Community Helped Me Create, Connect, and Keep Going

Social media is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I knew it would be challenging but didn't expect it to be ludicrous. Gaining my first 1,000 followers took six months of posting and commenting seven days a week. Even today, with 3,400 plus followers, growth is steady but slow.

My Struggles with Social Media

For the first few months, I felt as awkward as a tourist in a foreign country, not knowing the language or the customs. Everything was new: the timeline, short-form, long-form, hooks, headlines, commenting, responding to comments, DMs.

Every day, I wondered if people didn't like my posts or weren't seeing them. I felt like shouting into the void. At one point, I half-expected the algorithm to pop up and say, ‘Nice try!’” If you’re overwhelmed by social media, you’re not alone—this was my experience.

What helped was treating each post as a practice rather than a performance. I started focusing on showing up every day rather than worrying about likes. Eventually, the likes and comments came. Even so, they felt like a small consolation as others received dozens, hundreds, or thousands of likes.

I read everything I could about the science of growth and how to write the different kinds of tweets: actionable, personality, opinion, successes, mistakes, campfire stories, real-time stories, growth, authority, association, trust, inspiration, micro stories, questions, etc. Nothing seemed to help meaningfully, leaving me more overwhelmed than ever.

Consistency was the most common advice, so I set a goal to post once daily, which eventually became three times daily. I was consistent, but the algorithm wasn't, making it virtually impossible to discern patterns as to why people liked specific posts and not others.

Metrics became both a motivator and a trap. Checking follower counts multiple times a day only added stress. I learned to focus on the work, look at the follower count once daily for tracking purposes and trust that growth would come if I kept showing up.

Yet every day was like riding a bull, hanging on for dear life: writing, editing, publishing, commenting, replying to comments, responding to DMs, and reading every growth post and thread on my timeline. It took six months for my first post to go relatively viral, receiving 385 likes.

Eventually, I learned that consistency matters, but connection matters even more.

The Turning Point

Two months later, I learned that growth mostly comes not from my staggeringly brilliant insights but from commenting on others' posts. People would read my comments, and if they liked what I wrote, they would follow me. My goal was to leave at least 20 comments daily, but I commented up to 40 to 50 times daily when I felt desperate.

Commenting on posts on social media, whether people posted on mine or I posted on theirs, was my first taste of the value of community. The trick to commenting isn’t just showing up but sharing unique insights based on your experiences, providing valuable resources that expand on their point and showing personality with humor or engaging conversation.

Engagement is a two-way street. When someone commented on my post, I made it a priority to reply. It didn’t just boost visibility—it built connections that often led to lasting friendships. Engagement wasn’t about shouting louder—it was about listening more. Commenting opened doors that posting alone never could.

Occasionally, I DMd strangers with thousands of followers for advice. Someone from Sweden was invaluable, and I was later saddened when they vanished from the platform.

Over time, others who wrote on spiritual topics began to DM me to meet via video. Soon, I was making friends all over the US and the world: Ireland, England, Australia, Germany, Poland, Romania, Sweden, France, Netherlands, India, Singapore, Denmark, Canada, New Zealand, Guatemala, and Greece. I had come to share wisdom to make others' lives easier and ended up making friends.

Meeting people quickly became the most satisfying part of being on social media, but it wasn't the only aspect of community.

The Power of Community

When my posts were not visible, people engaged with them, which helped others see them. When I doubted my posts, people gave positive feedback. When I struggled to reach 1,000, someone from India offered help.

When I longed for community, someone from Poland suggested we start a growth group. When I posted to a group that I was ready to quit after ten months, a member from Australia replied, "If you want to quit, let's talk. I'll talk you out of it."

It wasn't until I realized how much joy and growth the community brought me that I recognized how central it was to being online.

When I began posting to Substack Notes in April 2024, it felt like starting again. However, it soon became apparent that community was an even more significant success factor for Substack. I realized that helping others first was the key to getting support. By lifting others, I was lifted, too. Within weeks, I began meeting and making friends, and people started engaging with my content.

Community isn’t just a bonus—it’s the glue that keeps creators going. When I doubted myself, others affirmed me. When I felt invisible, others helped me be seen. When I was ready to quit, others encouraged me to continue.

Community is why I survived the rigors of the spiritual path and have (so far) survived the challenges of being an online Creator. Without community, I would not be here today. It's what keeps me going. So, don’t chase followers—chase friendships. The rest will come naturally.

Community is one of the core values of The Creator Retreat, and Teri Leigh and I created it to support online Creators like you.

Why Community is at the Heart of The Creator Retreat

When I started creating online, I thought success would come from sheer effort—writing posts, mastering algorithms, and chasing metrics. But I discovered this: growth, resilience, and joy as a creator don’t come from working alone. They come from community.

Community lifted me when I was ready to quit, gave me the courage to publish when I doubted myself and connected me with mentors, collaborators, and friends worldwide. Community has been my most significant asset, and it can be yours, too.

That’s why The Creator Retreat was born. It’s a space where creators like you can come together to support, learn, and grow alongside one another. Whether you’re a writer, teacher, coach, or dreamer, we’ve built The Creator Retreat to help you face your fears, overcome self-doubt, and find the courage to share your voice with the world.

At The Creator Retreat, you’ll gain practical tools to make creating easier, meet like-minded individuals who truly understand your challenges, and rediscover the joy of your work. Most importantly, you’ll never feel alone on your path again.

Ready to transform the way you create? Learn more and join us at The Creator Retreat. Your community is waiting.