The Three Words That Silenced Me

How I'm Taking Back My Story

"THIS IS STUPID!"

And just like that, my days of hiding my voice began.

I've always loved the written word, and I started telling my stories in my private diary when I was a little girl. I loved that diary and would pour all my awkward, fantastical thoughts into it—a private world just for my eyes.

That is, until the day I opened my diary to see those big, bold letters scrawled across the pages.

I turned inward even more, and those three devastating words planted a seed of insecurity that has stayed with me into adulthood.

This insecurity led me to find solace in other people's writings, in gurus who seemingly had all the answers. I sought acceptance by listening to the voices that told me how I should create, how I should write, the ten keys to success, and so on.

But none of this ever quite fit.

No matter how much I tried, it always felt like wearing shoes that were two sizes too big or dressing in a style that wasn't me at all—like playing dress-up as a kid in your parents' clothes. It was fun, but at the end of the day, it wasn't me, and no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't going to fit.

Eventually, there comes a day when all that searching brings you to a place of surrender. You give up thinking it just doesn't exist—the place where you can finally play and be yourself. Not to be fixed or prettied up, but to be welcomed and accepted just as you are.

I liken it to finding your group on the playground.

Hence, here is my little story of when I started hiding and why I'm so excited to participate in The Creators Retreat Cohort.

Well, I've found my group and the playground is The Creators Retreat Cohort.

Here, everyone is welcome to be themselves, to come and play without judgment or expectations. You just have to bring your most awkward self and be willing to play with all of us other weird and awkward big kids.

Why do we all write and feel the need to share our stories? I believe there's something innate in us that longs to connect, to share. We peek our heads out from our little world, throw caution to the wind, and hope that someone, somewhere, will get us. We want to create magical worlds with our words and not have someone tell us we're weird or stupid.

Well, after stumbling upon The Creator Retreat Cohort by

Teri Leigh 💜

and

Ryan Delaney

, it was love at first sight.

They had me at "Weird".

Let's talk about the magical 🦄 unicorn, as I quote my new friend

Sam Messersmith

about the magical

Teri Leigh 💜

and The Creator Retreat Cohort she and @ Ryan Delaney are hosting on the Substack forum this year.

I'm beyond excited to be a part of The Creators Retreat Cohort and encourage you to sign up. I double dare you! 😊