Kristi Keller🇨🇦: The Rope That Pulled Me Out of the Substack Void

Sweatpants, Substack, and the Most Magical Dashboard Day Ever - a Bonus Workshop for The Creator Retreat🌳

Live Workshop: Substack Dashboard Settings!
Open to Cohort & Paid Subscribers

Friday May 23rd 12pm Eastern USA Time

Kristi Keller: The Rope That Pulled Me Out of the Void

I was in the pit.

You know the one—quicksand made of crickets. I’d post on Substack and…nothing. No likes. No comments. No signs of life. I was starting to feel like the teacher from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—monologuing into the abyss while everyone averted their eyes and waited for me to stop talking.

And then…I found Kristi.

Her posts and notes make me laugh out loud, AND they are real. Human. Messy. Comforting. Kristi doesn’t try to impress anyone. She says what we all feel and pretends it isn’t profound when it absolutely is.

She made Substack feel less like a cold room full of cool kids and more like a kitchen party where someone’s wearing fleece pajama pants with coffee stains and the dog keeps jumping on the table.

Eventually, I worked up the courage to comment on her Notes. And she replied. Not a copy/paste "Thanks for reading!" but an honest, self-deprecating, human response. It felt like she saw me in all my introverted, awkward, weird, over-sensitive, over-thinking, over-trying ways. She SAW me. Like we were already friends.

So I booked a 45-minute session.

I didn’t even know what I wanted. I just needed help. I needed someone to get me. And Kristi did. Instantly.

She saw the tangled mess of my Substack—seven thousand posts, fourteen tabs, ideas spilling out of every drawer—and she just smiled and said, “Oh yeah. I’ve seen this before. We can make it pretty AND make sense.”

She threw me a rope.

From Messy Maze to Magical Map

Kristi Keller 🇨🇦

is one of those rare unicorn-humans who actually likes organizing online chaos.

She thinks in Tetris blocks. She sees your mess and instantly starts labeling it, linking it, reshaping it into something legible. Logical. Lovable.

While the rest of us are crying over our dashboard settings and muttering about “the Danger Zone” like it’s a cursed scroll from an Indiana Jones movie, Kristi is over there in her sweatpants, sipping tea, calmly clicking boxes and muttering, “Oh honey, no wonder no one can find your archive…”

She didn’t just tell me what to do—she did it. She tagged my old posts. Reorganized my categories. Helped me write headers that didn’t sound like riddles from a trauma-informed wizard. She made my whole Substack make sense.

And somewhere in the middle of tech support, she became my friend.

She introduced me to her people. Tagged me in Notes. Cheered me on in comment sections.

And one day, I realized: I wasn’t in the void anymore. I was in community.

The Brain of a Strategist. The Heart of a Dog Mom.

Kristi’s got awards from her destination-writing days. She’s run travel blogs, memoir series, grief essays, and a dog blog that will make you cry into your kibble. She’s created three totally distinct Substacks—all thriving in their own weird, wonderful ways.

And somehow, she still finds time to start a coaching business for destination travel bloggers AND help the rest of us make sense of our substack dashboards.

But what makes her magick isn’t just her credentials—it’s her compassion.

She knows what it feels like to have a story that matters and no idea how to get it out in a way people can actually read it. She helps you set the table for your writing so that when readers arrive, they know where to sit and how to stay awhile.

Kristi’s Bonus Workshop for The Creator Retreat🌳

On Friday, May 23rd at 12pm ET, Kristi is showing up live to do what she does best:

Unstack the chaos. Demystify the dashboard. Help you breathe again.

In this special Bonus Workshop (open to all paid subscribers in The Creator Retreat), she’ll walk us through our Substack settings one by one—from the top all the way down to that infamous red “Danger Zone.”

You’ll finally understand:

• What each toggle actually does

• What’s worth turning on (and off)

• How to make your homepage user-friendly and true to your voice

• Why your navigation matters more than your subscriber count

• And how to build a space that feels like you

This isn’t a growth hack. It’s a soul-aligned tech reset.

You’ll walk away with clarity, confidence, and maybe even a couple new ideas for how to invite people in—without ever having to pretend you’re a marketing expert.

And yes, it will be recorded, so don’t worry if you can’t attend live. But if you can show up, I promise, Kristi’s live energy is something special. It's like sitting across from your big sister who knows all the Wi-Fi passwords and how to fix your heart.

Come as you are. Sweatpants welcome. Snacks encouraged. Questions expected. Judgment will be checked at the door.

Kristi! Thank you—for the rope, the laughs, the dog joy, and the way you keep showing up with your whole weird, wise, wonderful heart.

This live Zoom session is open to all Cohort AND Paid Subscribers.

Friday May 23rd 12pm Eastern Time.

Paid Subscribers and Cohort Members will receive an email with the zoom link to join two days prior to the event.

The Creator Retreat🌳 is a place where your creativity gets to feel safe and your tech doesn’t have to feel scary.

Kristi will be there with a fresh office chair, a million metaphors, and a brain built for clarity.

You just have to bring yourself.

Sweatpants welcome.