Growing an Audience Doesn't Mean Shrinking Integrity

A Substack growth guru called me resistant, and I agreed with her.

Feb 11, 2025

I don’t belong here.

I knew it, deep down, but I didn’t listen, even when my oh-so-familiar frenemy Overwhelm lodged as a stone in my throat pushed stinging tears through my eyes.

I tried to ignore it. I told myself to push through, to trust the process, to do what the successful people were doing. After all, these “how-to” programs work—for so many people.

So why did I feel like I was falling into some kind of rabbit-hole hell?

About a year ago, while living in the Substack void, I stalked several of the “How-To” programs. When I upgraded to paid and joined the “exclusive club” for one of them, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did. 🤦🏻‍♀️

When I read the welcome and introduce yourself post, I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, and scrolled some more. . . and scrolled even more. I never did hit the bottom of that comment thread.

Then came the first Zoom call. Eighty faces on the screen. A rapid-fire flood of advice. The familiar pressure to pick a niche, define a customer problem, sell the solution, create urgency, raise my prices.

Halfway through, my throat closed up. My vision blurred. Overwhelm.

After a tree-hugging sesh to re-ground myself, I reached out to the guru for a 1:1 call. Maybe, if I asked the right questions, she could help me make this work for me. But instead of guidance, she told me I was being resistant. Too many objections. Too many doubts.

Back to the tree-hugging I went. . .

Here’s the thing…

She was right.

I was resistant, and I did have a bunch of objections to every one of her suggestions. Because nothing she said felt right in my core. Rather, everything she said was in direct conflict with my integrity!

Define your target audience? Feels like stereotyping. Like putting people in boxes they don’t belong in. That just doesn’t sit right with me.

Speak to customer problems? That assumes something’s wrong with them. But my whole system is about self-acceptance, not self-wrongness.

Provide solutions? I’m not a guru with all the answers. The answers live inside my clients, not in some formula I hand them.

Highlight the scarcity? That just breeds scarcity. And I don’t want to create fear—I want to create trust.

Set prices high? So only the wealthy get access? No. I want to reach the people who actually need this work.

Make an irresistible offer? Those slashed-price sales pitches always feel scammy. I’d rather be upfront, honest, and transparent.

Create urgency? That rushed, “act now” pressure? It goes against everything I teach about slowing down and trusting your own timing.

I asked myself, where is the how-to-grow-my-business program that matches my values and core integrity?

I couldn’t find one.

So I created it.

Well. . . sort of.

The Creator Retreat is Different

I want to be clear—those programs? The ones with a zillion participants and all the success stories? They work. . . For most people.

I sometimes wonder if they were designed for extroverts, not sensitive weirdos like me.

I don’t fit into most systems, never have. I’ve tried. I thought maybe I just needed to push through the resistance, follow the steps, get over myself. But the more I tried to fit the mold, the more I felt like I was chipping away at the very thing that makes my work mine. I have to be honest. I have to be true. Integrity.

And I know I’m not the only one.

That’s why I created The Creator Retreat—not because I have the answers, but because I want to figure this out with others who feel the same. Sensitive souls, deep thinkers, quiet creators who don’t want to chase or push or perform, but who still want to create something real, something meaningful.

And I’m not doing this alone. I’ve gathered a team of sensitive, deep-feeling, heart-led creators who, like me, couldn’t fit themselves into the usual formulas. They’ve wrestled with the same doubts, faced similar resistance, and still found ways to create from a place of truth.

We can’t promise results. We can’t provide a magic formula. But I do know that when we explore together, when we trust our own rhythms, when we stay true to what we know in our bones—maybe, just maybe, things will be different.

And that’s worth finding out.

The Creator Retreat Self-Study

No rush. No pressure. Just a space where you can learn, explore, and grow on your own terms—without forcing yourself into a marketing formula that doesn’t fit.

When you upgrade to paid, you’ll get:

✨ The deep, spiritual inner work sessions—because building something real starts from within.
🚀 The practical, business outer action sessions—because integrity and strategy can work together.
🎤 All guest presenter sessions—featuring sensitive, heart-led creators who’ve walked this path.
🤝 Full access to the comments—a space to reflect, share, and learn from each other.

Join anytime. Move at your own pace. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. This is your journey.

Want to Know More?

Join me and a handful of The Creator Retreat Guest Presenters for a Hangout Sesh!

We’ll chat about what it means to be a creator in today’s digital age, how the spiritual inner work informs the business outer action as creators, and answer all your questions about The Creator Retreat Self-Study.